Rune 23, Up: Standstill, That Which Impedes, Ice.

The winter of your spiritual life is upon you and you may find yourself entangled in a situation to whose implications you are, in effect, blind. You simply have to be patient and ride it out. This does not come from something that you caused or your habits, this is from conditions that are COMPLETELY out of your control. And there is another face to this Rune ... just as Winter is a time for going within, drawing this Rune can introduce a period of restoration and renewal, possibly all the way down to the deepest level. It will get better.

This is the latest Rune reading that Aaron did for me. Scarily true, dontcha think?

Well, my attorney finally answered this week, stating that she has received my permission to respond to my employer. Seriously, WTF!?! I gave her permission weeks ago. And now its so friggin' close to the deadline! UGH!!! Regardless, there is much back and forth between me, her and HR. Since we obviously can't get a signature from my previous employer to transfer the H1B, our only other recourse is to apply for a new H1B. But there's more shit to hit the fan. Oh yes.

Apparently, there was a mistake in my application that requires me to pay $1500 instead of the quoted $750. Apparently, both my attorney and HR failed to notice that there are more than 25 full-time employees at my job. Great. Just great. HR has also been advised by their attorney to put forth an additional $1000 for Premium processing. This will basically move my application to the front of the line, to be completed in two weeks. Of course, my attorney is advising against it. Her previous experiences suggest that the Premium Processing procedures forces the cases to be reviewed under a microscope, and that that there's a big chance that they'll come back asking for more job-based evidence, thus delaying the process back to the non-premium processing time of 60 days. Actually, my lawyer is confident that despite it being the holiday season, the non-premium H1B applications are still processes under 30 days, and less complicated. Of course, HR insists on the Premium Processing. At this point, it is out of my hands. It really is.

And you know what? I DON"T CARE ANYMORE. As much as it seems reckless, I AM OVER IT. I really am. My employer is putting a lot of time, energy, money and effort into helping me get back into the office legally. I have to side with them, as I want to get back to work as soon as possible as well. MAKE IT WORK. HR did ask me how committed I am, because they don't want to lose me 12 months down the road. I volunteered to sign a commitment contract, which Kim said MIGHT happen a little later. Fine by me, as long as the terms are not ridiculous, like this case.

So it looks like I will be traveling home to collect my visa, which is fine with me. It will be good to see my family and to see home again, even if it is just for a week. Actually, that is kind of ideal, because the short trips are the most memorable ones. There's less chances of getting into arguments, and every moment we have is valued. Of course, I have to keep in mind that international travel eats up a ton of time. I also cannot book a ticket until I receive an approval from the INS here. Then I have to make an appointment for my interview at the US Consular Office in Kuala Lumpur. Insane, isn't it? Two days for the interview, one day to process it. At least that's reasonably fast.

Regardless, I am glad this is going somewhere. It's finally moving and I am feeling better everyday. My celphone bill and power bill will probably kill me, but ... eh!

I am looking forward to Stephanie visiting me next weekend for Christmas. It'll be nice to have some company besides Sable.

Cable on the weekend, and a last ditch effort

Last Thursday, I actually managed to hang out with Christine. It was so good to see her again in Las Vegas. She hasn't changed any, except for the fact that she was (temporarily) driving her mum's car. Because mum needed her car that evening, we went to her house, where I met her mum. After a little bit, Carlos came to pick us up in his new Hyundai. Apparently he remembers me thru Sandra, although I had no recollection of such a meeting. Regardless, he was a very nice guy, and all of us eventually had dinner at Soiree's. We sat at the bar, and our server/bartender was flirting with Christine the whole time we were there. After that, we went to the nearby Starbucks and relaxed a little. After about 30 minutes, we decided to call it a night. Carlos dropped Christine off, then dropped me at my nearby Walgreens. Overall, it was a good evening spent with two great people, and a much needed break from my apartment. I also received my latest issue of Domino, so that was a bonus.

After getting in from the evening out, I noticed that I got a email from Kim at HR saying that she was going to talk to her attorney the next day regarding the progress of my case. She said she would get in touch with me after that. As a friendly reminder, I sent her and Lan an email thanking them and reminding them of the 12/20 deadline.

On Saturday morning, I managed to catch Joe from NJ online, and we chatted for a bit. It was really good to see him again, as he's been away for a few weeks now. Come nightfall, Scott and I went to Tea Planet as usual. It wasn't too packed, and there was a new server there. We stayed about 2 hours until a big group of youngsters came in, making alot of noise, chatter and laughter. That was our que to call it an early evening.

On Sunday afternoon, I went over to Scott's place to spend some time with him and catch up on some shows. I watched the latest episode of Project Runway, followed by the first episode of Tin Man. I'm really liking it so far, although I remain convinced that Sci-Fi messed up the audio. I could barely hear the vocals, but the background tunes and sound effects were blaringly loud. Scott served up homemade lasagna with garlic bread and salad. It was really good, but really filling. After that, Scott and I stayed on to watch some HGTV. We decided to head to It's A Grind, but it was a full house and it was windy and cold outside. So instead we opted for a 24-Hours Starbucks. The evening was cut short when Stanley needed help from Scott. We stayed a little longer and called it a night. One thing is for sure. I shouldn't have ordered my usual drink. It was so good, but I was so wired that I didn't sleep until 8am on Monday.

I finally get a call from Kim that afternoon. There has been no response from my attorney to her or her attorney. I wasn't pleased, but I wasn't surprised either. Following Kim's instructions, I drafted an email to my attorney. In it, I (me being a paying client, and her being my legal representative) insist that she respond. It was a firm but professional email. Kim approved it and I sent it to off. I will try and call her again tomorrow, though I am wondering if she is screening her calls and refusing to answer.

If my attorney does not respond by Thursday, then we will transfer over the case to Kim's attorney. As long as the INS receive a response by 12/20, I will be fine. However, Kim did forewarn me that there might be a chance that i will have to go home to Malaysia to my H1B visa. She couldn't tell me a timeframe, because she doesn't have an answer to that. But she did ask me to not be hasty and make bookings or cancel stuff yet. Kim did make sure that she invited me to the Pre-Soiree Office Christmas Party, and made sure I was going to be there for the actual Christmas Soiree itself. I thought that it was very sweet of her to make sure I didn't feel left out or isolated, and to still be a part of the office family. I'm sure the party is going to be quite festive.

Tuesday comes soon enough. Sleep is going to be difficult. The body is tired, the mind can't slow down.

Gamedesign.jp = Addiction!

Fun, silly and ridiculously addictive. Enter Chat Noir and trap the cute evil kitty. Yes! it can be done. Granted, it took me about 15 times to win, and this is the second game I won. I forgot to take a grab of the first game I won. Oh well. Still, it's great for a much needed segway from your daily grind at the office. Go insane. Don't forget to check out the Sliding Block Puzzle too and get that red tile out!

Wachovia Goes West

I have banked with Wachovia for quite a while when I was back in Atlanta. They didn't exist in Missouri. When I moved to Vegas back in January, I had to set up a Bank of America account, because Wachovia did not exist here either. In fact, many people here didn't even know what Wachovia is. The furthest they went out to was Texas. Well, not any longer. Wachovia is now on the West Coast. That means that I can now bank with them again (besides just swiping my debit card). They've also got a few atms here and there, one being not too far from me (if I drove, that is). But still, at least for me, Wachovia expanding onto the West Coast is a good thing.

Optimism for the Pessimist

So I've been trying to keep my optimism afloat. And I think I am starting to come around. I've been talking to Scott, Michael and Aaron alot. ALOT. Yesterday was the first time in a long while that I didn't dwell on my problems while going out with Scott. We went on as usual, enjoying ourselves (albeit on a dead tight budget). I'm not in the clear yet, but at least its getting somewhere. My time is limited, and pessimism isn't doing me (or anyone else) any good.

Chills, a familiar face, and hindsighting

So it's been about a week since I last blogged. Well, the weather has gotten slightly colder. Being winter, that's a given. But today, we got rain too. And the accidents to go with it. Today, I also had lunch with quite a number of my colleagues at Rib Crib. It was the last day for a fellow designer, and it was good to see so many familiar faces.

In other news, Christine is back on the Vegas scene. Or will be by Sunday, at least. SanFran has been treating her roughly. She's been freelancing most of this time, which isn't good. Also, she misses her friends and work here. It was unusual that Sam was the one that suggested they move back to Vegas. And in part of that, I was offered the possibility of living with them as a roommate, to help out costs and such. I have no clue on the location, the animals (and mine), and potential couple drama that it may bring. Regardless, I am very excited to see her again. I know Steve definitely will be glad that she is back.

As for an update on my situation...well, all I can say is that its progressing. I was unable to elicit any (helpful) responses from my attorney, and this week a letter has been drafted to be sent to her by my company's attorney. In the meantime, all I can do is remain patient, stay warm, eat and entertain myself. It's time to rewatch my dvds, Witch Hunter Robin being the first series.

As for my mind...I don't know what's happening to me. Why am I still upset when I know that I have done nothing wrong, and put forth all I can give? Why am I hindsighting when it does nothing but make me regret? Why am I unable to cast my problems aside and just live the day to the best that I can? Why am I making this big deal even bigger?

I am still in the black (aura). I have been weirdly tense, bitchy and moody. Why exactly, I don't know. Yes, I know that I have done all I can do, yet I can't relax and just go along for the ride. Probably because the ride is so incredibly tight, restrained, uncomfortable, cold, and for an indefinite period of time. It could certainly be worse, yet I fail to see that. I do feel bad. Scott, in dealing with his own job situation, has decided to cut back on our time together. We see each other maybe twice a week, and then only rather briefly. I know he is only trying the best to conserve what little resources we both have, but it hurts. It really does. And yet...I can't fight him on that. He is right in that I am much better off because I still have a job to go back to, and that my benefits are still active. He is starting over, and has bigger bills that need to be paid on time. I'm just lost at the whole situation, and have started to do the 'If I only knew then what I know now' game, and it's quite counterproductive. It's just making me regret my decisions and happy times in months past. Of course, I had no way of predicting the future. And yet, I still do it.

I really am lost. i don't want to cry. I'm a mess. Plain and simple. A wreck of a mess. How do I get off this trainwreck?